Not Moving Fast Enough to Trust Yourself
Sep 17, 2026 · From my email newsletter.
Listen on The iAlign Podcast
I used to scroll my life away playing video games and on social media…
and now I spend 10 to 12 hours a day pursuing my dreams and building my own mission.
I viscerally remember talking to my dad one time around Christmas time and looking at him, and I don’t know if I said it out loud or if I just held it to myself in my head, but I looked at him and I thought,
“I wish I was moving faster.
I wish I was more proud of myself.
I don’t know if I’m on the right track.”
And worse than all of that is I don’t feel like I’m taking the actions that are required to show me.
In that moment I thought:
“I honestly don’t feel like I’m not enough, not just to feel on track, but to trust myself again.”
At the end of the day, my direction is a product of the actions that I take.
I am responsible for my life.
And right now in my life I may not have “made it,” in the sense that I haven’t accomplished some of these very massive, large goals that I have for myself…
But I am absolutely actively making it:
I spend the vast majority of my time in the way I actually genuinely want to.
And I’ll just shoot it to you straight…
That wouldn’t have been true if I didn’t overcome compulsive and avoidant behaviors like scrolling which I used to manage or numb my emotions, my worries, my anxieties, and my insecurities if I had continued to allow those behaviors to dictate how I spent the vast majority of my free time
And if we’re being honest, it was also my time at work.
Even if I wasn’t actively scrolling, you know the experience where you were scrolling or you were avoiding, and then when you start to do work again, you’re not actually focusing because you’re thinking about other shit.
If that was my life, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.
Sure I’m not island hopping on private jets.
But I wouldn’t be so content and fulfilled with how I spend my time.
With the things that I’m learning, the things that I’m developing, the people that I am working with, all of it and so much more.
It would not have been possible.
One thing I recognized early on in this journey to overcoming compulsive behaviors that I accumulated from childhood into my teens, into my 20s, that then included these dopamine-seeking behaviors like scrolling or YouTube watching, was that the end of my year from September to December and into January was one of the most important parts of the year.
Not only because when I look back on certain years, the vast majority of it is the way I was feeling when I ended the year.
But also because it sets the precedent for the next year.
September to December of this year (i.e. right now) is going to set up January to March of next year.
Because behavior change doesn’t happen overnight.
In the years where I allowed the end of my year, from Halloween to New Years, to just go stagnant,
To not actually change the scrolling, overcommiting, and overthinking behaviors holding me back
To allow myself to choose lunchtime scrolling of stupid bullshit on Youtube or looking at some girl that I was interested in on Instagram and completely blow up my afternoons, literally sometimes ended up as complete blanks from lunch to when I would eventually go to sleep…
When I allowed that to happen in my past for months on end, it ruined those years for me.
It was heart-wrenching to go into December feeling so stagnant and so low, not because I was a bad person or I wasn’t capable or competent of turning things around…
But because my actions over the course of the last couple months of the year showed me that I wasn’t on the trajectory that I wanted to be on.
And look, you’re not just gonna switch things up on a pin drop.
So when I went into the next year, those behaviors were still there.
I was still scrolling.
Still overcommitting.
Still overthinking.
Still not asking for help.
And then byt the time I started making some momentum on my work into the spring and summer… well it was already the next fall and winter again and the same cycle.
The reality is these next couple months are so important for setting up not just how you feel about this year, but how you go forward and how you start off the next year.
Because these cycles of inaction (because that’s what they truly are – avoidance is the lack of aligned, correct, decisive action), if done for a long enough period of time through my late 20s into my early 30s and beyond, would have precluded me from building a life that I was genuinely fulfilled with.
That is why I take the end of my year so seriously.
And it’s why you should too.
Have fun and not to enjoy the holidays, sure.
But I want make sure that I end each year acting in a way that makes me consistently proud of myself.
Because that is how I will guarantee looking back on 2026, no matter how it started (or how its going all the way into September) with a smile on my face and pride in my heart.
And it’s how I will ensure that on January 1, there aren’t New Year’s resolutions where I think, “Oh shit, I really have to change my behavior” again
No, January 1 is peaceful.
It ends up being, “Wow, I can’t wait for another year to continue this beautiful path that I’m on.
To continue doing so many things that I’m proud of.
Building my business.
Traveling the world.
Building strong relationships and friendships.
Challenging my body and mind.
All I need to do this New Year is keep going.”
That’s what you get by taking control of your September:
You give yourself the gift of a proud, accomplished year and unstoppable momentum leading into the next one.
I’m curious though, since we all know the holidays can be hard:
What challenges do you normally face around this time that lead you deeper into avoiding your responsibilities?
Do you overcommit yourself during the end of the year?
Hide from the feeling of being behind on the things you think you should have accomplished by now?
I read and respond to every email and I genuinely would like to know.
Full transcript
I used to scroll my life away playing video games and on social media…
and now I spend 10 to 12 hours a day pursuing my dreams and building my own mission.
I viscerally remember talking to my dad one time around Christmas time and looking at him, and I don’t know if I said it out loud or if I just held it to myself in my head, but I looked at him and I thought,
“I wish I was moving faster.
I wish I was more proud of myself.
I don’t know if I’m on the right track.”
And worse than all of that is I don’t feel like I’m taking the actions that are required to show me.
In that moment I thought:
“I honestly don’t feel like I’m not enough, not just to feel on track, but to trust myself again.”
At the end of the day, my direction is a product of the actions that I take.
I am responsible for my life.
And right now in my life I may not have “made it,” in the sense that I haven’t accomplished some of these very massive, large goals that I have for myself…
But I am absolutely actively making it:
I spend the vast majority of my time in the way I actually genuinely want to.
And I’ll just shoot it to you straight…
That wouldn’t have been true if I didn’t overcome compulsive and avoidant behaviors like scrolling which I used to manage or numb my emotions, my worries, my anxieties, and my insecurities if I had continued to allow those behaviors to dictate how I spent the vast majority of my free time
And if we’re being honest, it was also my time at work.
Even if I wasn’t actively scrolling, you know the experience where you were scrolling or you were avoiding, and then when you start to do work again, you’re not actually focusing because you’re thinking about other shit.
If that was my life, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.
Sure I’m not island hopping on private jets.
But I wouldn’t be so content and fulfilled with how I spend my time.
With the things that I’m learning, the things that I’m developing, the people that I am working with, all of it and so much more.
It would not have been possible.
One thing I recognized early on in this journey to overcoming compulsive behaviors that I accumulated from childhood into my teens, into my 20s, that then included these dopamine-seeking behaviors like scrolling or YouTube watching, was that the end of my year from September to December and into January was one of the most important parts of the year.
Not only because when I look back on certain years, the vast majority of it is the way I was feeling when I ended the year.
But also because it sets the precedent for the next year.
September to December of this year (i.e. right now) is going to set up January to March of next year.
Because behavior change doesn’t happen overnight.
In the years where I allowed the end of my year, from Halloween to New Years, to just go stagnant,
To not actually change the scrolling, overcommiting, and overthinking behaviors holding me back
To allow myself to choose lunchtime scrolling of stupid bullshit on Youtube or looking at some girl that I was interested in on Instagram and completely blow up my afternoons, literally sometimes ended up as complete blanks from lunch to when I would eventually go to sleep…
When I allowed that to happen in my past for months on end, it ruined those years for me.
It was heart-wrenching to go into December feeling so stagnant and so low, not because I was a bad person or I wasn’t capable or competent of turning things around…
But because my actions over the course of the last couple months of the year showed me that I wasn’t on the trajectory that I wanted to be on.
And look, you’re not just gonna switch things up on a pin drop.
So when I went into the next year, those behaviors were still there.
I was still scrolling.
Still overcommitting.
Still overthinking.
Still not asking for help.
And then byt the time I started making some momentum on my work into the spring and summer… well it was already the next fall and winter again and the same cycle.
The reality is these next couple months are so important for setting up not just how you feel about this year, but how you go forward and how you start off the next year.
Because these cycles of inaction (because that’s what they truly are – avoidance is the lack of aligned, correct, decisive action), if done for a long enough period of time through my late 20s into my early 30s and beyond, would have precluded me from building a life that I was genuinely fulfilled with.
That is why I take the end of my year so seriously.
And it’s why you should too.
Have fun and not to enjoy the holidays, sure.
But I want make sure that I end each year acting in a way that makes me consistently proud of myself.
Because that is how I will guarantee looking back on 2026, no matter how it started (or how its going all the way into September) with a smile on my face and pride in my heart.
And it’s how I will ensure that on January 1, there aren’t New Year’s resolutions where I think, “Oh shit, I really have to change my behavior” again
No, January 1 is peaceful.
It ends up being, “Wow, I can’t wait for another year to continue this beautiful path that I’m on.
To continue doing so many things that I’m proud of.
Building my business.
Traveling the world.
Building strong relationships and friendships.
Challenging my body and mind.
All I need to do this New Year is keep going.”
That’s what you get by taking control of your September, you give yourself the gift of a proud, accomplished year and unstoppable momentum leading into the next one.
I’m curious though, since we all know the holidays can be hard:
What challenges do you normally face around this time that lead you deeper into avoiding your responsibilities?
Do you overcommit yourself during the end of the year?
Hide from the feeling of being behind on the things you think you should have accomplished by now?
I read and respond to every email and I genuinely would like to know.
Stoked,
Flint